with your own penis?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
