I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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