I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
