Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize