i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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