I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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