She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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