Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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