He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
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and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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