I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
