After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
