You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize