now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
