So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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