I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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