"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
