I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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