he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Threesome in a minivan. New low
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
