Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
