He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
