he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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