I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
