My first STD was from a foam party
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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