So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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