I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The air was thick with penises
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
