69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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