The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize
