Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Terrible idea I love it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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