Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think your dad took our porno
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Randomize
