Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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