I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
