I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
should my penis look like a turkey
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
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i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
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I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...