Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.