So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.