My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
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you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
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I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.