he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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