you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation