Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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