Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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