i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
