She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
