Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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