$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
