I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
