i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
