Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
