so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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