i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
