dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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