I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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