Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
