I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
