Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
