he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He felt like a one man threesome
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
