Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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