Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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