I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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