Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
don't judge my taste in strippers
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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