Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
