I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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