lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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