I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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