I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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