Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She said her name was "party"
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
