they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
