She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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