if you like me you must not know who I am
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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