I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
