And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I want her autograph on my taint
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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